i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize