if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
