i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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