Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I want a musical about memes.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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