...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
PANTIES FOUND
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
