I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
