there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
