he shaved USA in his pubs
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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