id be glad to
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
