I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize