Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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