I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
