I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
