you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
