whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
