he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
