and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When are your genitals available?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
