Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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