I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
