Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw a hot homeless man
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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