Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've blown a few things in my day
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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