I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
