I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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