I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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