halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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