Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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