He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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