Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
