Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize