your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you would pick up someone in the library
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
