i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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