the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
