u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Boobs are out for the taking
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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