You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
