My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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