you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
