This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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