Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me