I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal