did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.