you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dating After Heartbreak
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin