Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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