it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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