i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize