I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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