she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
