I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
