I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
