there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i am craving dick and cupcakes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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