I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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