He told me they were just razor bumps!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
