Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
