In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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