glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize