Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We got so high we made milksteak
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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