I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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