i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Will exercising make me less horny?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
