I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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