And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
