Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
