who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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