3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
