East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
