pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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