Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize