She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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