It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
