PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
