i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my shit smells like andre
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
